The Con
by Stroots
Summary: Joker is running from Batman and runs right into a con! What trick is he up to now? YAOI Bats/Mr. J If you don't like don't read. No sex.


Woo! Another oneshot from me that randomly popped into my head! :D This is my first Batman fic.

Warnings: Language, yaoi, no sex though. sad day, I know. I suck at sex scenes though XD

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, but sometimes I dress like the Joker and have fun :D

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><p><span>The Con:<span>

'_When I find that damn clown I am going to rip his face off. NO. I'm going to punch his face _in_ until it looks like he hit the broad side of a tractor trailer and _then _I'm going to rip it off. Now where the fuck did he go…'_

The Dark Knight ran around the corner that the Joker had just run around only to bump into Chewbacca. '_Wait, what?' _Batman took a double take to find out that yes, he did just run into Chewbacca from Star Wars. He shook his head and continued running. Faintly, he heard a muffled, "Sweet costume, dude!" Probably from Chewy. In the distance he could see a green head rush into a building. "Gotcha, you fucker," Batman mumbled to himself and ran off toward the door.

When he opened it he was met with a huge surprise. It was some sort of convention. There were people dressed up as more Star Wars characters, he saw Spock and who he assumed to be Captain Kirk making out in a corner being photographed. A small bald kid ran passed with a teenager that had a huge scar on his left eye hot on his tail. Over by a table he saw a guy in his old grey suit. '_Christ, I forgot how much I hated that thing…'_

The dark clad figure made his way further into the crowded building only to be met by two teenagers. One was tall and lanky and had huge, black-rimmed glasses. The other was kind of short and stumpy. They both stared in awe at him. "Uhm, can I help the two of you?"

"HOLY SHIT, DUDE! Who made your costume? You look like the legit Batman!" the taller one said. The short one just continued staring. '_What the fuck alternate dimension have I entered?'_

"Err, I made it myself?" the man replied, clearly very confused.

"Woah… Do you mind if I take a picture? This is clearly the greatest recreation I have ever seen." This was the shorter one finally speaking up.

"Sure? I guess that's ok. Say," he suddenly got an idea, "you haven't seen that damn clown, Joker, around here anywhere have you? I seemed to have misplaced him," Batman said smoothly.

The young boys quickly snapped a few pictures as they responded. "Oh yah, he had a great costume, too! Never seen such realistic scars. He ran that way," they both pointed towards a few tables. "Hey, would you mind posing, please? Just a quick action pose."

Batman looked at them and with a shrug pulled out one of his batarangs and posed like he was going to throw it. The two boys gasped and took another few pictures before rushing off with a few rushed and excited words of thanks. The Batman quickly put away his weapon and continued on his search for the Joker. '_I swear I'm going to kill him when I find him.' _Along the way he was stopped by a few more awestruck fans and had pictures made. By the time he actually found the stupid idiot his patience was nearly gone.

"Ah, Bats! I'm glad you could join me finally!" Batman turned around quickly. '_How the fuck did he end up behind me?'_

"Joker. I think it's time we stop fooling around here. If I have my picture taken one more time," he let the sentence hang in the air, just as the Joker was now suddenly hanging from his grip, a few inches off the ground.

"Well, dear, it doesn't seem like you're doing a good job to stop that," the insane clown said softly as he looked around. Batman followed his gaze to see a small crowd gathered around them taking quite a few pictures. Gasps of awe and scattered comments and compliments were heard throughout.

A smaller crowd of three girls came forward with cameras in their hands and giggling madly. The one in the center spoke up happily. "Y'alls costumes are so great! We were wondering if you did fan service?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

The three girls were dressed like some sort of sexy school girls. Their skirts WAY above what would be appropriate for a school. "How much money are you offering, sweets?"

Batman looked at the Joker with his eyes slightly wider than they were a few moments ago. '_What the hell is he asking for money for?'_

The girls looked at each other for a second and whispered softly. The girl in the middle finally turned back toward them with a smirk. "$20 if you do one thing for us." She motioned for Joker to come over to her for a second. The psychopath easily slipped away from Batman's grip before he even realized what was going on. The girl quickly cupped her mouth closed to the Joker's ear. His eyes widened a little before he grinned and started laughing like his usual manic self. He looked at the girl when he finally calmed down and said softly, "Make it $25 and I'll throw in some tongue." He winked when the girls started giggling again and the girl in the middle shook his hand firmly.

"You have a deal."

The Joker turned around swiftly and walked back to his Bats. "So, darling. Guess what I'm being paid to do. I doubt you'll ever get it."

Batman looked around skeptically, half expecting one of his little masked buddies to jump out of nowhere. "I'm guessing it probably involves pain?" he deadpanned, not amused in the slightest.

"Oh no, Batsy. I'm sure you'll enjoy this to some extent." The painted man put his hands firmly on the dark clad man's shoulders. Oh yes, he'll enjoy this. Quickly, like a flash of lightning, the Joker had launched himself forward and attached themselves at the mouth, plunging his tongue into the wet, heated cavern.

Distantly, Batman could hear the excited squeals of the three girls, along with a few other people in the crowd. However, that was not currently at the forefront of his mind. At the moment, that spot was taken by the clown that currently had his tongue in his mouth. '_Oh my fucking GOD. __**WHAT THE HELL?'**_ He let out a startled cry of disgust and outrage. There was no way in HELL this fucker was doing this for $25!

The Joker heard his muffled cry and chuckled softly into the Batman's mouth. Still somewhat attached to his lips, the Joker spoke softly, "Don't pretend you don't want it, love. I've seen your lingering glances. That time in the interrogation room? Yah, I saw it." He looked into shocked blue eyes and winked before pulling back fully. "Alright, girlie, you got what you wanted. Money, please?"

The girls continued giggling fiercely as they handed over the money. "Oh my gawd, thank you so much! That was so awesome! I'm going to get on my computer as soon as I get home and put these up on DA!" With that the three girls ran off in a different direction.

The Joker turned around only to be met with a fist to his face. Shit, he was expecting that, just not as soon as he turned back around. "Batsy baby, I think you broke my nose, darling."

The caped crusader leaned in close to his ears, his breath coming in ragged pants that were doing completely wonderful things to the Joker's already pulsing arousal. "Next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll drop the hit lower. Not in public. NEVER in public." He pulled his face away to glare into the Joker's smoldering green eyes that were mostly pupils at this point.

The green haired man smirked and looked back hotly. "No one knows us here, Bats. They all think we're geeks in costumes. And may I be so presumptuous to assume that you would like to do this elsewhere?"

The bat punched him in the stomach once before getting up and stalking away. Catching that stupid ass psycho was no longer a priority. Getting him away from the heated looks of everyone else, however, was.

The crazy man on the floor slowly stood up to follow after the retreating form of his bat. He knew to follow him. He would always follow him. They completed each other after all.

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><p>WOO. That was crazy, yah? Well thank you for reading, drop me a comment if you're not busy! A little concrit does a body good :D But no flames. I will mind kill you.<p>

ALSO, I'm not making fun of crazy con people/fangirls/comic loving boys. I would love to go to a con if I ever had time, I am a fangirl, and comics are pretty cool if you ask me. So no getting mad at that. THANKS AGAIN! :D


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